Men who do not want sex
Many women suggest that men only need sex from them. But this is far from the case, because some representatives of a strong part of humanity have no desire to have sex and what to do at the same time even they themselves do not represent. Sexual contact is something that an adult can’t do without. But there are also men who are indifferent to intimacy, which categorically cannot be considered a normal state.
If a man does not want a long time to have sex with his woman, then you should not immediately think that he has changed orientation, because other problems with mental and physiological health may arise. To reliably deal with the causes of this problem and find out how to solve it, it is worth considering the situation closer.
Why do men lose their desire to have sex?
The regular intimate life of two adults is the norm. But if the guy lost his desire to have sex, then this indicates the presence of various kinds of problems. A man may not want intimacy due to physiological or psychological pathologies, which may be as follows:
- the representative of the stronger sex has ceased to attract his partner,
- due to one failure, the man was faced with psychological impotence,
- the guy has physiological impotence or other diseases of the intimate sphere,
- other men began to interest the stronger sex,
- the guy is fond of pornography and is engaged in self-satisfaction, which replaces him with a full intimate life completely,
- the woman’s attitude to the partner is fulfilling all desire to establish an intimate life.
One should not exclude the fact that the reason for unwillingness of sexual relations at home can be that a man has a lover on the side and she completely satisfies him. Lack of desire for sex can be the result of mechanical injuries or congenital pathologies. Also, the presence of some infections transmitted during sex can permanently discourage the desire to establish this process.
If a woman walks in front of a man in sexy underwear, has a beautiful appearance and figure, it is difficult to believe that there will be no sex. But still, there are cases when the interest of a beautiful lady still does not arise. The reason for such indifference may be physiological factors such as the onset of impotence, the presence of various diseases and infections, and congenital defects in the development of the male genital organ. If we are talking about older men, then perhaps their physiology makes it clear that they should go on vacation, but the lack of interest in sex in a young man is exactly what speaks of serious problems with physiological health.
Causes and solutions
For any man, a situation where there is no desire to have sex is a dramatic and very disturbing predicament. Unfortunately, most men with such a problem, due to bashfulness, do not dare to seek the help of a specialist, thereby exacerbating the situation. In fact, only the timely detection of the reasons for the lack of desire for intimacy and their elimination is the key to success.
As practice has shown, lack of sex drive is a common problem of modern men, while not all cases are a sign of impotence and sexual impotence. To determine the causes and degree of development of sexual problems, a comprehensive diagnosis and examination of a doctor is needed. Decreased sex drive can be cured if you choose the right method of therapy.
Often, psychological trauma is more complex than physiological. For example, if a woman tells her boyfriend that he had disgusting sex with him, then he is unlikely to want to do it. There will be no desire for this process if the partner does not arrange it aesthetically, but at the same time constantly criticizes and remains unsatisfied.
If a guy in childhood saw the sexual intercourse of his parents, then this can remain in his memory for a long time and cause an aversion to such a physiological process. It will be difficult to eliminate the psychological factors leading to this problem, but there is nothing unrealistic.
To accurately determine exactly what causes negatively affect male libido, you need to know a whole series of factors that can affect a man’s sex drive. The following are distinguished:
- mental illness
- systemic diseases
- diseases of the genitourinary system,
- testosterone sex hormone level,
- taking certain medications, for example, for pressure or antidepressants,
- bad eating habits, alcohol or tobacco smoking,
- excessive or inadequate level of physical activity,
- stress resistance,
- dissatisfaction or satisfaction with a woman.
The reasons for the decrease in libido can be hormonal disorders, erection problems, exhaustion, the degree of obesity, as well as an improper lifestyle.
How to increase libido?
To increase male libido, if there are no pathological diseases of a physiological nature, it is not necessary to drink pills, because you can do this like this:
- the presence of foreplay before sex,
- role playing practice
- watching erotic movies or short videos,
- struggle with constraint, self-doubt and other psychological factors that discourage the desire to make love,
- eating foods that are natural aphrodisiacs; using perfumes from this series.
Even a young, healthy man can have problems with sexual desire. But this does not mean that the guy will never have sex again. A young man just needs to see a doctor on time and identify the exact cause of the problem. The sooner you start to deal with an unpleasant situation, the faster it will be able to defeat and return to sex life.
“Feeling attracted to a woman, I foresee troubles in advance,” said 43-year-old Mikhail. - Most of all, I'm afraid to lose control of myself. That’s already happened, and every time I made mistakes that cost me too much. ” The desire to avoid undesirable consequences, for example, such as dependence on a partner, loss of independence, the risk of becoming a victim of emotional blackmail (“there will be no sex until I receive a gift”), all this can lead to abandon intimate relationships. This does not mean that a man has no sexual desire.
“It disappears only under the influence of serious hormonal disorders,” emphasizes sexopathologist Yuri Prokopenko. “However, attraction can be suppressed.” Unlike animals, man is able to control his instincts. So, we can decide to abandon the joys of the flesh in the name of an idea.
“The one who was brought up in the spirit of strict morality can perceive sexuality as something threatening,“ wrong, ”adds sexologist Irina Panyukova. “And then such a person will assess complete or partial abstinence as“ good ”behavior.”
Fear of failure
There were times in the past when only male pleasure mattered in sex. Today, a man knows: his duty is to take care of a woman. Who sometimes believe that, together with the right to pleasure, they got the right to criticism, sometimes quite gall. Such comments can be deadly for male desire. “Sexual criticism is imprinted indelibly on the man’s memory, he will remember this all his life,” said sexologist Irina Panyukova.
Sometimes behind the loss of desire there is a fear of not giving pleasure to a partner
“Sometimes I hear women complain:“ he did not give me an orgasm, ”says Yuri Prokopenko,“ as if his partner were hiding and not sharing. But it is important to correctly understand the equality of the sexes: it is impossible only to assign to one of the partners all responsibility for enjoying the couple. Everyone should learn to take care of themselves by organizing and directing the other, if necessary. ”
The dictates of female values
Hidden social pressure is also to blame for the decline in male desire, says psychoanalyst Helen Vecchiali.
“Society extols femininity and“ feminine ”virtues: gentleness, consensus, the desire to discuss everything. She says. “Men are required to develop these qualities in themselves - as if everything is“ right ”in women, and everything is wrong in men!” Is it easy to remain a man when what constitutes masculinity is considered rude, aggressive, cruel? How to express a desire in words that are alien to the speaker? And women do not benefit from such a depreciation of male values.
“He needs to admire a man to love him,” the psychoanalyst continues. “And they need to be desired.” It turns out that women lose in both fields: they live with men whom they no longer admire and who no longer desire them. ”
Sometimes the conclusion that desire is gone is made by one of the partners or both not on the basis of facts, but on the basis of assumptions about how “it should be”. “For a year, we met with a friend once a week, and I heard from her only the most flattering compliments,” says 34-year-old Pavel. “However, as soon as we started living together, I felt her growing discontent and could not understand the reasons until she frankly asked why we have so little sex. But it was not less than before! It turned out she was expecting that with a life together, every night would be as passionate as during the brief meetings. Involuntarily, I disappointed her and felt terrible. "
The phrase "men need only one thing" is repeated so often that many take it on faith
The idea that a man wants sex constantly and is ready for him anytime, as much as he wants and with anyone turns out to be either a myth or an error, which is based on the fact that particularity is taken as a general rule. Men naturally have a different need for sex, ”continues Yuri Prokopenko. - During the period of falling in love, it increases, but then returns to the usual level. And attempts to artificially increase sexual activity are fraught with health problems, for example, with the heart. It is also important to remember that sexual desire decreases with age, and not to demand the same “records” from yourself or your partner.
How difficult it is to say “no” to your beloved woman, spouse or girl, only men themselves know. And if earlier the discussion of such a topic was extremely rare on the sidelines, today, in the age of fast food, an ever-increasing pace of life, elite alcohol and an “unscrupulously bad” ecology, the topic of reduced male libido goes into the category of top-level discussions at medical and family forums of the global network . Today it is not uncommon to meet a lack of desire in men, regardless of age and social status.
It is believed that the flowering of sexuality in men occurs at 18-25 years old, in women - at 35. But in the interval from 25 to 35 years there is a sharp decline. There are few reasons and conditions for reducing male libido, but each can ruin relationships in the family with a loved one.
“I'm afraid to change him”
Svetlana, 36 years old, married 10 years, three children:
“When I met my future husband, I quickly realized that he was not very interested in sex, but since I myself was then chosen from a relationship in which men needed sex only, I liked it. We had three children in four years, and I was satisfied with the rhythm of our intimate life. Now the youngest daughter is four years old, and I would like my sex life to be richer. We never talked about this, and recently I suggested that my husband contact a sexologist. To my surprise, he agreed. But since then the problem has only worsened: I think he felt that I was expecting something special from him, and now he has problems with erection. It begins to seem to me that he does not want me, because he considers him fat, ugly, and as a result I feel myself like that! Moreover, he is a nice person, we have everything to be happy. I don’t want to leave him, I’m just afraid that in the end I can change him. "
- Conflicts in the family. Women, and we will not deny this, are characterized by sharp changes in moods, excessive requirements for their men, the world-famous premenstrual syndrome (which even women themselves do not deny). The result of conflict situations, understatement in clarifying relationships, men's unwillingness to talk about their problems leads to sexual rejection. Men lose the desire to have sex with a woman who criticizes him and does not seek to understand his problems.
- Stress. Work does not always bring satisfaction. Especially if you have to constantly think about where and how to earn more money for your family in order to meet the necessary needs, not to mention the purchase of housing, a car or vacation packages.
- Physical fatigue. Today, when the pace of modern life is incredibly high, and the distance between work and home is several tens of kilometers, given traffic jams and heavy traffic, by the end of the day men (and women) are only thinking about how to get to bed faster and go to bed early so that in the morning to have time to take the children to school and arrive at work on time. There is simply not enough time and energy for sexual intimacy.
- The lack of desire, and most often, the lack of time to engage in physical activity, leads to overweight and hormonal changes, in which men have a markedly reduced potency, which leads to the inability to engage in their own woman in their free time.
- Incompatibility of sexual activity in spouses. The following types are distinguished: mild (sexual activity of the spouses is completely different, one needs discharge in the morning, another in the evening, one - once a week, the other - every day, etc.), average (approximately the same needs for sex, differences only in periodicity and intensity), high (full compatibility and ideal relationships).
- Fear of not satisfying a loved one. This problem is more common in men. And rather, it is a psychological component. But this is primarily due to the physiological structure of individual men and is expressed in accelerated ejaculation.
In addition to the main reasons listed above, a huge impact on sex life and sexual disorders in men at any age has:
- infectious diseases
- taking a significant amount of drugs,
- improper lifestyle, including smoking, alcohol, sedentary lifestyle.
Against the background of stressful situations and excess weight, blood pressure rises and tachycardia develops, which have a direct effect on the desire to have sex in your free time.
There is such a problem. During a period of maximum discord in family relationships, fading emotions, accumulated daily household problems (the same thing every day), a man may begin to date another woman. I emphasize that "may."This is far from a trend. When a man does not want sex, he does not want it on a large scale.
By the way, psychologists and sexopathologists note that in cases where a man has a woman on the side, he is very active at home. A variety of sex lives keeps men in good shape.
So, this is a problem, rather invented by women themselves and is psychological in nature.
Self-satisfaction and porn.
The easiest and fastest way to relieve stress and have fun:
- lack of long preludes,
- active movements,
- don't think whether you will satisfy a woman or not,
- no risk of becoming pregnant or contracting an infectious disease.
Frequent viewing of pornographic films can lead to serious problems in the family. It is proved that with frequent viewing of porn by men, their interest in a living woman fades. Sexual needs are becoming more perverted and can not be satisfied with ordinary sex.
Porn addiction is a purely psychological problem. Under certain conditions, it leads to mental disorders and requires the intervention of specialists: psychologists and sexopathologists.
Modern electronic gadgets, gaming addiction, social networks
Along with porn addiction and self-satisfaction, social networks and online games distract modern men from their families and lead to psychological disorders, including sexual ones.
Modern society lives online. Communicating on social networks, men try to realize themselves, to show all their virtues, even if there are none.
And participating in online games, you can become a superhero and the winner of all kinds of battles and battles, quests and strategies, you can become a virtual millionaire or leader. I want to pump a car, tank or weapon. What kind of women are there, what sex.
What to do, how to be?
There are many ways to solve this problem. But at the same time, an integrated approach, discussion, and the ability to hear each other are required. Women need to understand that men also may not want sex.
- Sit down at the negotiating table. Listen and understand each other, even if it is difficult and incomprehensible to everyone. It is important to remember that trust, mutual understanding and frank conversation can lead a married couple to a new life. The main thing is to understand where the problem is, and you can always find the key to its solution.
- Help psychologist. It so happened that family troubles rarely bring judgment to outsiders. However, many families were saved solely through the intervention of specialists. Do not think that this problem is individual and can be solved in the family circle. Timely advice will help to correctly understand your loved one, look at the situation from the side and make the right decision.
- Healthy lifestyle, proper nutrition, physical activity. This is exactly the set that should be followed by any man, without exception, in order to save his family, have a full sexual life, enjoy life.
Is pornography to blame?
Opinions of experts on how the availability of porn and erotic products affect male desire differ. Psychoanalyst Jacques Aren believes that “there is a certain satiation with sexuality that overflows all around. But desire is always fed by a lack of what we desire. ” At the same time, he emphasizes that for the younger generation, the absence of desire does not mean the absence of sexual relations: simply these relationships exclude the emotional component, become “technical”.
And Yuri Prokopenko believes that pornography does not reduce desire: "Sexual attraction is comparable to hunger: it cannot be satisfied by watching how others eat." However, in his opinion, the habit of pornography can affect the degree of satisfaction: "Video enthusiasts may lack visual stimulation, because during a real sexual intercourse we do not so much watch how we feel, feel, act." You can fill this shortage with the help of mirrors, and some couples use video equipment to watch themselves from the side, feeling like a creative group of their own erotic film.
In case of loss of desire, men over 50 should consult with doctors, advises andrologist Ronald Virag. Attraction is associated with testosterone levels. Its content in the blood is from 3 to 12 nanograms per milliliter. If it falls below this level, a marked decrease in desire is observed. Other biological parameters play a role, in particular hormones of the pituitary and hypothalamus, as well as neurotransmitters (dopamines, endorphins, oxytocin). In addition, some medications inhibit testosterone production. In such cases, hormones may be prescribed.
Yuri Prokopenko clarifies: “And in order for the decrease in attraction to be caused precisely by hormonal reasons, these reasons must be very serious (for example, castration (including alcohol). If during puberty the level of male hormones was normal, then their natural fluctuations in the future practically do not affect libido. The reasons for the decrease in attraction are primarily psychological. "
The economic crisis as a sexual stimulus
Financial difficulties in men increase their desire to have sex, social psychologist Omri Gillat found out. True, we are talking about “short-term strategies”: this means that in the face of any threat, they involuntarily seek to find as many partners as possible in a short time. “Under adverse conditions for survival, men tend to seek sex outside of monogamous relationships to spread their genes more widely,” the study said. - When the environment is favorable and there is enough food, they will rather take care of the children that they already have, and remain with their partner or look for a long-term relationship. But if danger reappears and the chances of survival are reduced, if there is a shortage of nutrition or more enemies become available, men will prefer short-term strategies to increase reproduction. ”
Violation of the psychoemotional state always has a negative effect on human health. Including it can nullify female libido. The chronic form of stress, which has been going on for quite some time, has a particularly strong effect on arousal.
Different reasons can lead to deviations of an emotional nature, for example, death of a loved one, problems with work, unfavorable situation in the family. In such difficult moments, a woman is not psychologically able to tune in to sex, and after all, the representatives of the fair sex arose in the brain and then only reaches the genitals.
“When a man turns to me about a lack of desire, it often turns out that he has difficulties. at work, - says Inna Shifanova. “Losing confidence in professional competence, he begins to doubt his other abilities.” Sexual desire is only one of the facets of our libido and desire in general. His absence can be included in the context of depression: a man no longer wants to have sex, but he no longer wants anything else.
Jacques Arens describes the "syndrome of an old tired man": "He has a lot of work, children who tire him, problems associated with the" wear and tear "of married life, he is afraid of aging and a decline in vitality, and it is not so easy to give new strength to your desire. " To give up criticism, to support - that is what a woman can do for him. However, one should discuss the partner’s difficulties with caution, preserving his self-esteem and remembering that “talking on problematic topics can cause concern and concern. These feelings lead away from bodily desires, ”emphasizes Irina Panyukova. So do not start such a conversation before physical intimacy.
The reason why a woman is not aroused may be taking certain medications. To a greater extent, agents such as can influence libido:
- combined oral contraceptives,
- sedative medications
- anti-anxiety drugs.
Sex drive impairment is a side effect. The instructions for the use of a particular medication always indicate the possibility of a similar reaction of the body.
Hormonal malfunctions, gynecological diseases
The physiological reasons why there is no excitement in a woman are the pathologies of the female reproductive system and a malfunction in the balance of hormones in the body. As for the hormonal background, testosterone is responsible for libido. If its content in the blood decreases, the attraction to the partner worsens.
Also, an imbalance of estrogen can provoke a violation, namely their significant reduction. This happens most often with the onset of menopause. These hormones are produced less and less, as a result of completely ceasing to be synthesized. This negatively affects the general condition of women, in particular, and the desire to have sex.
Gynecological diseases also play a large role in reducing libido. For example, girls often have inflammatory processes in the uterus, ovaries, and vagina, which are accompanied by unpleasant symptoms that interfere with full intimacy.
There is also a condition such as sexual coldness, which is considered a separate independent pathology. It is also called hypolibidemia. It is characterized by the fact that a woman has no sexual desire at all. It may be absent initially or the abyss during life. This is a dysfunction that does not depend on the presence of other diseases or exposure to external factors.
Dissatisfaction with the quality of sexual intercourse with her husband
A common cause of a woman’s lack of desire is the man’s inability to satisfy her. Many girls face this problem, but not everyone can directly admit to their partner that he, to put it mildly, is not a macho man in bed.
At first, when a couple is just starting to develop a relationship, bad sex can be perceived not so painfully, because there is romance that helps smooth out sharp corners. But over time, a woman notices all the incidents, as dissatisfaction in the intimate plan makes itself felt both on the physical and psychological levels.
What to do?
Due to the decrease in sexual attraction to his man in the family, sooner or later, a disorder begins. Often, girls refuse partners in intimacy, without explaining the reasons, afraid to admit their problem. This causes confusion on the part of the guys, which often ends with parting or going to the left, where they can always get good sex.
To prevent the occurrence of such consequences, it is necessary to combat the absence or decrease in libido. So what to do if there is no desire in bed?
Take a rest
First of all, stop panicking about the problem. Of course, it requires attention, and the sooner the better. But experiences will not help to resolve the situation. Otherwise, it will only do harm.
Give yourself time to relax a bit, tune in a positive mood. Remember that only a positive attitude will help you deal with the problem. You must believe in your strength, then be sure to eliminate the trouble that has arisen.
Find out the reason for the lack of sexual desire
It is impossible to determine how to bring back a desire for intimacy without knowing why it suddenly disappeared. You need to find out the reason. Further treatment tactics will depend on this. If there are hormonal disruptions in the body, you need to deal with their correction, if you suffer from female diseases - urgently treat them, if there is dissatisfaction with your partner - speak frankly with him, etc.
Contact a specialist
First of all, consult a gynecologist. The reason why the desire to engage in intimacy disappeared in life may be the presence of a disease in the female reproductive system. This must be done the sooner the better, since the lack of timely therapy can lead not only to a decrease in libido, but also to many other negative consequences for human health.
If, however, no gynecological and other pathologies that could affect sexual function were detected, then the reason is psychological in nature. In this situation, consult a therapist. No need to be afraid, shy, it’s important to frankly tell the doctor about your problem, then he can help eliminate it.
Diversify sex life
You should try to bring something new into your intimate life. Talk about it with your man. Perhaps you need to increase the duration of foreplay. It is known that girls are excited more slowly than guys, therefore it is important to devote at least 10-15 minutes to foreplay.
You and your husband can also try the following:
- look for each other's new erogenous zones,
- use adult toys
- play role-playing games
- apply lubricants, especially if a woman does not have enough natural lubrication,
- watch erotic films together before sex,
- practice intimate massage before intimacy,
- use more new poses.
Pick up beautiful erotic lingerie. Men like this, and the woman herself will feel more attractive and desirable, which will benefit her. Some girls do not want to spend money on such things, consider it a whim. However, they simply underestimate the role of a woman's appearance in sex.
Ask your husband to say nice words during intercourse. After all, all the fair sex love ears. Therefore, sexual male whispering will help to play an appetite.
Talk with your husband about your unfulfilled desires, fantasies
How to return sex drive? Do not hide from your man that you have a problem in this regard! Decide on a frank conversation, be honest. Alone, nothing can be fixed, especially if the reason for the deterioration of libido is the husband’s inability to bring you to orgasm and ensure maximum pleasure during sex. Hints will not give anything, speak directly.
If a man does not suit you in bed, you do not need to blame him for this, express your complaints and even more so offend with unflattering words about the size of his penis or insufficient preludes. This will greatly affect the husband’s self-esteem and self-esteem, which can lead to a breakdown in relations.
You need to approach this topic delicately, admit that you want something else, and offer to solve the problem together. Tell your husband about your sexual desires and fantasies. If you do everything right, then your intimate conversation will turn into a night of stormy love, where you can realize all unrealized moments.
Well, if you first have a romantic dinner by candlelight, create a pleasant atmosphere, put on erotic lingerie. It can really help make you want to have sex.
Work on the problem together
In no case do not disregard the situation when the attraction to her husband has disappeared. A reduced libido or its absence at all can lead to negative consequences for the couple’s relationship, as well as for the psychological and physical condition of the girl herself.
With poor sex drive, a woman begins to have sex less and less, then she can completely stop her intimate life, not wanting to deal with the problem. This entails consequences such as:
- the development of gynecological diseases,
- deterioration of the emotional state,
- family discord,
- premature aging
- the onset of depression
- lower self-esteem,
- increased risk of developing pathologies of the heart and blood vessels.
The only plus of the lack of sex is protection against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. But such problems can be prevented in more loyal ways.
If you yourself can not cope with the psychological barriers that prevent full excitation, or you and your husband have a misunderstanding about what sexual intercourse should be, then it is better to visit a sexologist. His consultations will help solve an unpleasant question and build your relationship.
Many women who have experienced menopause do not want to deal with such a problem as the lack of intimate attraction, because they believe that at their age sex is not as necessary as in youth. This opinion is fundamentally wrong. Sex life brings the same enormous benefits. Interferences for a full-fledged act can only be created, for example, a lack of natural lubrication, but this is completely solvable. Therefore, do not forget about your own pleasure and health after menopause.
Thus, there are many reasons why women lose their desire for intimacy, there is no attraction to her husband. It can be both physical and psychological factors. To fix the problem, you must first identify what triggered it.
Most importantly, remember that a decrease or complete absence of libido is a serious sexual deviation that needs to be treated. And the sooner the better. Otherwise, you will have problems in the family, as well as with health.
The simplest reasons
In the simplest cases that do not require the help of a doctor (possibly with the exception of a psychologist), the question is why there is no desire to have sex, you can answer the following versions:
- an addiction to a partner has formed or long years of marriage with a spouse have passed,
- primitivism of sexual intimacy, mechanical execution of sexual intercourse,
- birth of a child (if it is a family).
In the first case, the reluctance to enter into intimacy can be caused by the fact that the man simply does not have a sexual desire for a partner. If the wife becomes a "fighting comrade" or the lover begins to remind "mommy", we are no longer talking about any excitement.
If the sex drive has disappeared, it may very well be that the sexual relationship between a man and a woman goes according to a too primitive scenario (met, undressed, had sex, dressed and separated) or is strictly mandatory (“marital duty”). The desire for intimacy with a woman may decrease if the “patient” is too keen on watching pornography and masturbation - erectile functionality simply will not have time to recover.
The most basic cause of unwillingness to have sex is a disturbance in normal sleep patterns
It happens that the husband’s attraction to the spouse disappears if she recently gave birth to a child — the woman’s body that has changed after pregnancy and childbirth may no longer excite the spouse. In addition, psychoemotional fatigue, both from each other and from the rhythm of life that is established with the advent of a newborn in the house, also reduces sexual desire to almost zero.
Another - the most elementary - cause of problems with the desire to have sex is a violation of the normal sleep pattern. A pathologically sleepy man is an unfit lover. The same is true for representatives of the stronger sex, many and hard workers: they spend a lot of energy on their labor activity, so organisms protect themselves by suppressing sexual desire, which provokes, albeit a pleasant, but still additional energy cost.
Why is sex drive gone?
If you do not want to have sex, do not immediately worry. Perhaps the reasons for the lack of sexual desire are in the above factors, and to cope with them, though difficult, but real.
If the lack of sexual desire is becoming an increasingly frequent occurrence in a man’s life, and neither the uniformity of relations, nor the recent birth of a child, or shock work are to blame for this, it is time to seek help. For the increasing rejection of intimacy, there are a large number of factors, and only a specialist can identify a specific one in a particular case.
In general, the condition described by patients as "the desire to have sex" has disappeared, may be caused by:
- psychological (sometimes psycho-emotional).
Psychological reasons to some extent include the situations described above, they will also be discussed separately, as there are fewer physiological problems with a decrease in libido.
Factors of a physiological nature are most often associated with the presence of various diseases of the genitourinary system (prostatitis, orchitis, urethritis, bacterial lesions) in a patient. Pathologies of the body structure can also answer the question of why the desire to have sex has disappeared: male sexual function suffers if there is overweight, anatomical features of the structure of the penis or other parts of the reproductive system, and exposure to the negative effects of bad habits. It also happens that sexual desire disappears when other pathological processes in the body that are not related to the genitourinary system occur. These include diabetes mellitus, blood vessel diseases, problems with the functioning of the digestive tract.
The most common reason why there is no desire for sex is prostatitis in men
The most common reason explaining why there is no desire to have sex is prostatitis. Inflammation of the prostate gland, which has a different origin, disrupts the functioning of this organ. If the prostate, which is responsible for the formation of the entire male sexual function, produces the secret of seminal fluid and is the source of a certain amount of the male hormone testosterone, stops working normally, various sexual disorders do not make you wait. One of them is the lack of desire to enter into intimacy.
Orchitis is a disease of the testicles (paired male sex glands), accompanied by an inflammatory process in them. Factors that provoke the ailment can be different, starting with hormonal imbalance and ending with mechanical trauma. One of the forms of orchitis is an unpleasant sensation in the scrotum, pulling, with sexual intimacy, intensifying to pain. It is such periodic pain that causes a man to refuse sex.
With urethritis (an inflammatory lesion provoked by the entry of various bacteria into the lower part of the urethra, most often treponema), pathogenic microflora spreads through the urethra with a further development of the process to the upper urinary tract and genital glands. The disappearance of the desire to have sex in this case may be associated with the main symptoms of the disease: discharge of yellow color with an unpleasant odor, burning in the urethra, swelling of the head of the penis.
Physical malaise caused by a significant decrease in immunity, for example, due to the recent transmission of viral infections, can also cause a decrease and disappearance of sexual desire. Without a sufficiently strong barrier function of the immune system, the body becomes exposed to the negative effects of the mass of all kinds of viruses and bacteria. The main symptoms of this condition include general lethargy and a drop in working capacity, constant exposure to respiratory and other similar diseases, and a decrease in the need for sexual activity.
Excess weight, "gained" by a sedentary lifestyle and harmful, mainly fatty foods, is extremely dangerous for a man. Fat deposits interfere and disrupt the functioning of all organs and systems in the body. Moreover, they put pressure on the organs mechanically, causing them to move from a place designated by nature. Subsequently, overweight leads to the fact that the obese man begins to suffer from a decrease in the production of the hormone testosterone and from weakening of the muscles (including those responsible for the erection mechanism), and the result of this is the desire to have sex, and the body’s abilities for sexual intercourse, it’s lost , pretty weakened.
Overweight, a sedentary lifestyle and fatty foods for men are dangerous by a decrease in the production of testosterone hormone
Step towards each other?
How to reconcile female and male desires? “Moving,” says Helen Vecchiali, “accepting the fact that things have changed. We live in a period of changing roles, and it is too late to regret patriarchal times. It is time for women to stop demanding everything from men at the same time. And it will be useful for men to mobilize: women have changed, and today they know what they want. In this sense, men should take an example from them and affirm their own desire. ”
Hormone imbalance is to blame
Factors that adversely affect sexual desire and sexual desire may be related to hormonal imbalances. Libido decreases if a man’s body lacks testosterone, a hormone responsible for the normal course of arousal during sex drive. An insignificant level of testosterone is a low level of desire to have sexual intercourse. The cause of a decrease in the production of this hormone in a man’s body can be mature age, some chronic diseases, bad habits, and the use of certain medications.
The psychological reasons for the problems with the extinction of sexual desire include stress
In addition to testosterone, the desire to have sex is affected by a lack of other hormones, for example, thyroid hormones, or an excess of, for example, prolactin. Also, the cause of problems with libido may be a lack of dopamine - a hormone that regulates the normal state of the psycho-emotional sphere of a person. Since the brain plays almost the largest role in the process of sexual arousal arising from the manifestation of attraction, the lack of a dopamine mediator in the chemical system of nerve impulses inhibits its reactions. And the "inhibited" brain is not able to make the body feel a desire for physical intimacy.
What may be the help
When all the factors that are potentially capable of causing men to lose their desire to have sex have been studied, the time has come to figure out what to do to get the faded sex drive back. But first, one curious fact needs to be cited: it turns out that every fifth male who has reached the age of 35 years and older, even if he had previously had an active sexual life, is quite satisfied with the conditional standard, expressed in 1-2 sexual acts per week. So before you start to panic about your fading libido, you should think: maybe everything is going fine?
If, nevertheless, the decreased desire for sex bothers you, you should definitely consult a doctor. After passing the examination and identifying possible factors of the violation, the patient will be able to undergo appropriate treatment. If psychology and emotional balance disturbed by various “provocateurs” are to blame, a man can be prescribed consultations with a psychologist, in some cases, taking antidepressants. Physiological factors require that the patient first contact a specialized specialist - a urologist, andrologist, therapist, that is, get rid of diseases that caused a decrease in desire for sexual activity. After treatment of prostatitis, orchitis and urethritis, as well as after restoration of normal weight, the probability of restoration of sexual function is very high.
To start looking for the answer to the question: “How to return the desire to have sex?” Follows with the recognition of the problem. The patient should be ready to talk about his condition, share experiences, for physiological reasons - to undergo a thorough examination of the genitourinary sphere. Have to be patient, as in any case, the therapy will be long.
It happens that the lack of intimate relationships in the family is perceived as, of course, a matter of course, especially if both spouses are over the age of 45-50 years. Many couples believe that the main thing in their life together is emotional kinship and intimacy, and you can do without sex. However, from the point of view of physiology, not all women, and even more so, men are able to adhere to prolonged abstinence, without acquiring physiological and psychological complications. Over time, these complications, accumulating, can result in either family scandals or treason. That is why, if a man in a love or family relationship begins to lose his desire to have sexual intercourse, and was previously sexually active, he should consult a doctor in order to begin to fix this problem in a timely manner.
Treatment for lack of sex drive in men
The treatment of missing libido in men is prescribed and carried out depending on the reasons that formed the pathology. One can talk about a decrease in libido if a representative of a strong half of humanity does not have or has reduced the number of erotic fantasies, there is no search for various incentives to arouse attraction, a weakening interest in sexual intercourse in principle, and in a potential partner in particular, is noted. The causes of such conditions can be very different:
- Organic They mean changes in the body of a man on the background of hormonal therapy, prolonged use of drugs, the presence of chronic diseases that change the chemical processes in the body,
- Social. Unattractive appearance, lack of space for meetings with a potential partner, low income, etc.,
- Psychological. Stress, conflict situations with a potential partner, perverted erotic desires, etc.,
- Physiological. Injuries to the brain and spinal cord.
Important: disorders of sexual desire and low libido in men, the symptoms of which are manifested in the absence of desire for sexual contact, lead to stagnation in the testes and genitals. As a result, a man develops inflammatory processes of the prostate gland, etc. In addition, against the background of a lack of desire, a representative of a strong half of humanity develops a depressive state and psychoses.
Mesotherapy to increase libido
All symptoms of decreased libido in men, expressed in apathy towards women of the opposite sex and the complete absence of fantasies with erotic contents, can be neutralized using mesotherapy. This treatment technique involves the introduction of drugs to enhance potency directly under the skin. Dosages of such drugs are minimal. The purpose of such therapy is to achieve a therapeutic effect and at the same time stimulate all reflexogenic and biological zones / skin points in the genital area and other erogenous zones.
Mesotherapy is a targeted treatment technique, expressed in several principles:
Such a treatment technique is used quite widely in various fields of medicine, including cosmetology and dermatology.
Important: if mesotherapy is used to restore the libido of a psychogenic nature, then antidepressants or other anti-stress medications are used here, such as magnesium, B vitamins, potassium, etc.
If the reader is wondering how to restore male libido, then the prevalence of sexual therapy should be taken into account. Subject to compliance with the technique of its implementation, the efficiency is very high. Sex therapy looks like this:
- Light touch partners to each other without direct sexual contact. Touching the genitals is excluded. The goal is relaxation and tactile pleasure.
- Light touches to the body of the partner and his genitals, but without direct penetration into them by the penis or fingers. The goal is to arouse desire on the basis of the “forbidden fruit”.
- Committing a full sexual intercourse, but without committing movements on the part of the man. In this case, periodic periods of containment are shown.
- Full-fledged vaginal sexual contact with vigorous action on the part of a man until complete discharge.
Important: how to restore libido using such a technique, a sexologist should tell. The partner of the man is in this case his first assistant in overcoming the pathology.
As for drugs, they work directly at a particular moment. That is, they solve the problem, but do not eliminate its cause. An exception is Impaz, which can fight physiological problems. The course of treatment with Impaza is 14 days, and the therapeutic effect lasts up to a year or more. In addition to Impaz, a man can use such drugs to increase libido:
Important: Viagra is contraindicated in men with heart failure, with peptic ulcer and with defects in the structure of the penis.
Sedative, psychocorrective and tonic techniques
If a man does not know how to return libido, it is important to understand that, depending on the reasons that provoked the pathology, other methods can be used. One of the effective is a sedative technique. The goal of therapy is the inhibition of processes in the cerebral cortex and the limitation of flows into the zones of the brain stem centers. The following techniques are used:
- Galvanization. It implies the use of direct electric current.
- Electro-therapy. It is actively used to increase sexual desire in men. Here, pulsed currents are applied to certain structures of the human brain.
Another technique that actively works if a man does not know how to restore libido is psycho-corrective. In this case, micropolarization is applied to the patient. It uses low-density currents that affect the spinal cord and brain. Such an effect provokes a cardinal directed change in the functional properties of individual links of the NS.
Also, in order to increase sexual desire in men, tonic treatment methods are also used. It can be:
- Shower tonic. In particular, the therapeutic effect is exerted by jets of various intensities, temperatures, directivity, pressure and shape.
- Massage is therapeutic. Here, the masseur applies special techniques of techniques and movements that affect the body of a man with certain combinations and sequences.
Be that as it may, it is worth remembering that it is important to correct any deviations in the functioning of the reproductive system with the help of specialists. Self-diagnosis and self-medication can, at a minimum, give no effect. In the worst case, they will worsen the situation.
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Male libido is a sexual attraction to the opposite sex, which is laid down by nature at a subconscious level. Helps ensure procreation. Depends on the level of the male hormone testosterone. A decrease in libido entails sexual problems and depends on physiological and psychological factors. To identify the cause of a decrease in sexual desire, you should consult a doctor who, using diagnostic methods, will help to identify violations and prescribe a set of therapeutic and preventive measures.
Why is sex drive reduced?
Decreased libido is a problem that men of various age categories face. It is characterized by a decrease in sexual desire and, as a rule, related to lifestyle and health. In particular, the following factors influence libido:
- Diseases of the cardiovascular system, which lead to impaired blood flow to the brain and its parts responsible for sexual desire.
- Pathologies of the endocrine systemthat disrupt hormonal balance and lower testosterone levels (more about the causes of low testosterone in men).
- Nervous system dysfunction and the brain, which leads to a decrease in the rate of transmission of impulses and the synthesis of male sex hormone.
- Decreased immunity and frequent infectious and inflammatory diseases of the genitourinary system.
- Injuries and surgical procedures in the pelvic area.
- Excessive exercise.
- Sedentary lifestyle.
- Malnutrition and the use of foods that reduce libido. Fatty, fried, canned foods, carbonated sugary drinks and energy drinks, hard cheeses, spices (cilantro, coriander, mint), chips, coffee, cocoa products, white bread, sunflower oil and corn flakes have a negative effect on male sex drive.
- Bad habits: excessive use of alcohol, narcotic and psychotropic substances, smoking.
- Violation of the regime rest and wakefulness.
- Allergic reactions.
- Overweight, which negatively affects the work of the cardiovascular and endocrine system, increases the synthesis of estrogen - a female sex hormone.
- Constant stress, depression, emotional stress, fears and insecurity, the presence of bad experiences in the past.
- Parenting, which was aimed at oppressing sexual desire and indicating obscenity of sexual relations.
- Partner behavior.
- Long sexual abstinence, monotony of sex life.
- Uncontrolled intake of certain medications, including antidepressants, hormonal and antibacterial drugs. Often, sexual problems occur after a course of steroids.
- Age. Male libido is directly related to the level of the sex hormone testosterone, which, in turn, is closely related to age. So the peak of its concentration falls on 20-25 years, after which it begins to gradually decrease, and after 40 it begins to fall sharply.
Symptoms of decreased libido
Recognizing the first symptoms of a decrease in libido is quite difficult, because often men write off “mistakes” of a sexual nature and lack of interest in the opposite sex for fatigue and a bad mood.
The first sign of decreased sexual desire in men is loss of erection during sexual intercourse. Such a phenomenon may have isolated cases and be of a short-term nature. However, if the situation repeats repeatedly - this is an occasion to seek the advice of a specialist (urologist or andrologist).
Next a symptom of decreased libido is a lack of interest in a woman and sexual avoidance. After there are problems of a sexual nature, which end with a violation of ejaculation - the absence or premature ejaculation.
After stage decreasesexualdrivesin a man desire completely disappears and there is a complete aversion to sex (aversion), which manifests itself:
- Fear of sexual intercourse,
- The unexplained panic and anxiety that lead to diarrhea, nausea,
- By changing the timbre of the voice
- Reducing the amount of hair on the body,
- The appearance of fatty deposits on the buttocks, hips,
- Swelling and enlargement of the mammary glands, which indicates an increase in estrogen and low levels of testosterone in the blood,
- Excessive sweating
As a rule, the complete lack of sexual desire is the result of psychological trauma of childhood and sexual nature (parents' conviction that sex is bad, unsuccessful first sexual contact, coercion to sex, inability to satisfy a partner).
If a man has lost sexual desire, it should contact urologist andrologist, who will prescribe a set of diagnostic measures that will help identify the cause of the disappearance of sexual instinct. Usually, examination includes conversationduring which it is necessary to identify the time of occurrence of problems of a sexual nature, their duration, as well as the presence of presumptive factors.
Further required should donate blood from veins for level research:
- Free and total testosterone.
- Estradiol, prolactin and progesterone.
- Sex hormone binding globulin.
- Follicle-stimulating hormone.
- Luteinizing hormone.
- Thyroid Hormone (TSH).
Table of normal hormone levels in men
With a decrease in the level of sex hormones, hormone therapy is prescribed. In the absence of deviations, it is necessary to pass a general blood and urine test to identify diseases of the genitourinary system of an infectious etiology. The presence of inflammatory pathologies is indicated by the presence of leukocytes in the blood, a decrease in the erythrocyte sedimentation rate. In urine, the level of leukocytes, protein, red blood cells rises, and mucus and pus may appear.
Also consultation of a psychotherapist is necessary to exclude psychological problems and a sexologist. A phlebologist should be consulted if there are pathologies of the vascular system.
Additional research methods for reducing libido include instrumental diagnostics - ultrasound, dopplerography, x-ray, CT and MRI of the testicles and pelvic organs. If malignant neoplasms are suspected, the biological material of the testes and prostate is taken for biopsy.
The most effective treatment for lowering libido is prevention, which includes the following areas:
- Timely diagnosis of health status and therapy of identified problems.
- Rejection of bad habits.
- Proper nutrition.
- Lifestyle change.
- Stress reduction.
- Taking medication.
- The use of traditional medicine.
Diagnosis and prevention of diseases
Men's health is affected by the general condition and performance of internal organs and systems. In case of impaired functioning of the heart muscle, vascular system, endocrine glands, urinary organs and digestion, a gradual decrease in libido occurs, which is manifested by erectile dysfunction, lack of sexual desire and impaired ejaculation.
To prevent health problems:
- Annually undergo a medical examination by an andrologist. Especially attentive to health should be men over the age of 45-50 years,
- Timely conduct treatment of pathologies of the urinary and reproductive system,
- Visit a GP if you have a health problem and do not self-medicate,
- Carefully monitor blood pressure and monitor blood lipids and glucose levels.
Timely identification of pathologies of various etiologies and localization helps to conduct correct treatment at the initial stage of the development of the disease and prevent the occurrence of complications that affect male libido.
Rejection of bad habits
Nicotine and tar contained in cigarettes, ethanol found in alcoholic beverages, as well as psychotropic and narcotic substances have a negative effect on the vascular system, disrupting the flow of blood and the brain, whose cells gradually atrophy.
As a result, problems arise with erection and sperm quality, the synthesis of testosterone is disrupted, and libido is reduced.
Besides, the presence of bad habits increases the risk of developing other diseases that interfere with a man’s sex life. These include hypertension, heart attack, stroke and other pathologies of various etiologies.
Proper nutrition helps not only to cope with overweight, but also to fill the deficiency of vitamins and minerals that are responsible for testosterone synthesis and sex drive in general.
For libido answer:
- Vitamin C or ascorbic acid, which is an antioxidant and has protective properties, improves immunity, and improves the state of blood vessels. In large quantities contains in fresh vegetables, fruits, berries and herbs.
- Vitamin PP or nicotinic acid is involved in metabolic processes, in particular, in the metabolism of carbohydrates, has a beneficial effect on the functioning of the pancreas. Contained in seafood, any kind of nuts, legumes and beef liver.
- Vitamin E or tocopherol - an antioxidant that has a direct effect on the endocrine glands and stimulates the production of testosterone. Vitamin E rich in nuts, fish, spinach and oat and barley groats.
Nuts are not only an excellent aphrodisiac, but also help replenish the supply of minerals and vitamins, ensure the health of your blood vessels, help the heart facilitate its work.
- Vitamin D improves calcium absorption, which helps release testosterone from building function in the body. In addition, with an excess of estrogen, it converts it into less active forms. It is synthesized under the influence of sunlight. Also enters the body with sea fish, egg yolk, liver and dairy products (butter, sour cream).
- Selenium - a trace element that is used to treat and prevent diseases of the vascular system, normalizes the functioning of the prostate, improves quality and increases sperm count. Selenium rich in liver, natural cheeses, legumes, lamb, pork.
- Omega 3fatty acid have a beneficial effect on the functioning of the gonads, stimulating the production of male sex hormones, improve metabolic processes and stimulate the flow of blood with nutrients and oxygen to the tissues of organs. Fatty acid found in seafood and vegetable oils.
Most effective and popular aphrodisiacs natural to stimulate sex drive are:
- Honey - contains glucose, volatile, alkaloids and many other useful components that have a beneficial effect on the work of organs,
- Ginger - improves blood circulation, strengthens the immune system, enhances sex drive,
- Seafood (shrimp, fish, oysters) are rich in amino acids and vitamins that stimulate the synthesis of male sex hormones, which helps increase libido,
- Bananas a source of B vitamins and potassium, which contribute to the improvement of sexual desire, due to the effect on the functioning of the circulatory system,
- Avocado rich in vitamin B, potassium and folic acid, which are involved in the metabolism of proteins,
- Bitterchocolate promotes the production of the hormone "happiness" - endorphin, which helps improve mood and general condition,
- Nuts - A source of fatty acids, which are necessary for the production of testosterone.
If a man gradually decreases libido, it is necessary to change his lifestyle. First of all, you need monitor body weight, because excess adipose tissue in the area of the sides, abdomen and chest indicates an increase in the amount of estrogen and a decrease in testosterone, which has a direct effect on male libido. To combat this problem, you need to eat right, lead a healthy lifestyle.
In the fight against overweight will help normalization of work and rest. Normally, a man should sleep at least 8 hours a day. Healthy rest helps prevent the development of many diseases, helps to restore metabolic processes, stimulates sex drive.
In addition, it should give up a sedentary lifestyle. Lack of movement leads to congestion in the pelvis, resulting in erectile dysfunction. An excellent tool in the fight against stagnation are physical activity: walking, running, Kegel exercises, exercises in the morning and before bedtime and other activities that help disperse blood through the body.
Nervous stress at work, lack of understanding in the family, the prevalence of negative emotions, excessive physical exertion form stress, which has a negative effect on sexual desire and the general condition of a person.
To restore libido, you need to change your lifestyle and protect yourself from stressful situations as much as possible, restore good relationships in the family. If for some reason you can’t avoid a nervous strain, you can use medications that can significantly reduce the impact of negative factors. To this end, consult a doctor., which will prescribe natural remedies with a sedative effect.
The most effective drugs are bromine, which help calm the nervous system and restore sleep. Contrary to beliefs, bromine does not adversely affect libido, but, on the contrary, helps to improve the quality of male seed.
Use of medicines
Sometimes a man cannot always eat right and have a good rest to prevent a decrease in libido, in which case they can help vitamins and dietary supplementsthat will help compensate for the lack of nutrients.
Tablets containing libido will help restore libido:
- Omega-3 fatty acids, which have a direct effect on the synthesis of sex hormones and help improve metabolism, stimulate blood circulation and improve ejaculate quality.
- Alpha-lipoic acid, which is involved in the metabolism of fats and enzymes, improves the functioning of the vascular system.
- Vitamin E is a male vitamin that stimulates the production of testosterone.
The price in pharmacies of the Russian Federation from 31 rubles.
An important role in the prevention of libido reduction is played by traditional medicine, which has in its inventory many drugs that not only have a beneficial effect on sexual desire, but also help improve overall health.
The most effective for improving sex drive is combination of honey and nuts. To prepare the recipe, mix everything in equal proportions (chop nuts). Take twice after a meal of 25 g, washed down with herbal tea.
Equally effective for increasing libido is a combination of honey and wine, which should be mixed in a ratio of 1: 2, add 0.5 parts of aloe juice and a few parsley seeds. Insist for 2 weeks. Take 1 tsp. 3 times a day.
In the fight against the deterioration of sexual desire, herbal teas with thyme, lovage, and nettle help to replace purchased tea leaves. To obtain a healing potion, it is enough to pour 1-2 tbsp. l plants 300 ml of boiling water and drink after meals 3-4 times a day. These herbs can be used alone or combined. To improve the taste and medicinal properties, honey can be added.